Waiting for a perfect man!

While working for the cellular and Education industries I met many women who were educated, good looking and had reasonable family backgrounds but were still single. On occasions I found them depressed for aging quickly and due to not being approached by a suitable person to get married with.

After having direct conversations and observations I realized that most of them were single not because they were never approached by anyone but due to the fact that they were not ready to marry someone who was not fulfilling the criteria of a “perfect man”. The way I understood it, this is the check list which an urban girl (especially the one who has done her graduation or Masters from a private educational institution)follows while saying yes to a man. Importance of the mentioned variables is according to the assigned weights.

Financial stability (70%)
Salary
Job/Position

Vehicle which he drives (10%)

Education (10%)

Looks (7%)
Height
Complexion

Family obligations (3%)
Groom’s brother and sisters still unmarried


In the above mentioned variables assigned weights might vary from person to person but most of the urban women appear to give primary importance to financial stability. Same trend seems to be popular in males also where men practically define a good family as the one which can raise or match status of the groom and can offer financial support and assistance.

With reference to the above mentioned observations please answer to the following:

Should it be considered “greedy” to look for a person who is financially sound or is it a “realistic approach” to life considering rising cost of living or is it our laziness that we want to join the achievers but do not want to share someone’s struggle?

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Are “V” Losers by choice?

A colleague of mine gave an example to indicate the fact and the more I thought about it the more I realized that as a nation we are so good at creating issues and making a mess out of nothing that we loose our focus from more significant challenges. Such issues root from our inherent habits and no ruler can be blamed for them.

“V” are not organized :
Consider our graveyards for instance, by the exception of very few graveyards most of them do not have an index system so if you have to find a grave than you also have to find someone from the family of the departed to take you along. After prayers in the mosques (especially after Jumma and Eid prayers) we all rush to leave at once but we do not try to form a Queue or avoid walking on other people’s slippers. Same attitude is reflected when there is no one to control the traffic than we do not try to control our selves!

“V” are idle worshipers:
“V” love to create and maintain relationships with those who are having power (“V” leave them once their authority is over).”V” believe from the deepest core of our hearts that reference and bribery are the master keys to any problem so “V” are more than willing to compromise on our principals and moral values.

“V” are bad investors:
Major part of our earnings goes to worldly pursuits like spending on social occasions such as marriage and death ceremonies which consume a significant part of our savings and borrowed amounts but have absolutely no return.

“V” have impoverish thinking:

When “V” struggle than our focus is only on physiological ,Security or social needs rather than on self esteem or self actualization needs so “V” don’t try to utilize our potential and seek challenges.

Please participate by answering to the following.

1:Is not being organized the reason why we are not organized politically or is it due to the fact that unlike other nations our messiah leader has yet not appeared who would change everything after organizing and leading a revolution.

2: Do “V” practically believe in God’s existence?

3: “V” have to spend on social occasions like marriage and death anniversaries because every society has its own ways of socialization like in west there are bars and clubs and if don’t spend to celebrate or commemorate such occasions than it would further reduce social get-togethers which have come to a minimum due to terrorism and social atmosphere. Do u agree?

4: A society in which most of the members are struggling to make their ends meet. Can it produce such scientists, writers, producers who can make a difference?

Confused Muslims!

The more I observe the more I realize that Islam is basically a way of Life in which primary focus is on behaving in a certain manner in our routine life and the other part of the religion which is about prayers and meditation is actually of lesser importance.

I feel this way because with the passage of time I have seen the society deteriorating in terms of moral values and conduct .On the same channel we see clip of a Beauty contest ( of the stage which is suitable for adult viewers only )and an episode of “Alim on Line” by Dr.Amir Liaqat Hussein for guiding on religious affairs.
I see people keeping beard, calling themselves hajji sab and not honoring commitments or asking for adult entertainment at the DVD stores or being involved in bribery . Women following hijab continuously seeking male companionship. People performing Hajj(Pilgrimage) through income for which it is almost certain that it is not hard earned. The most painful of all unrighteous deeds/sin which is telling a Lie/Falsehood has become acceptable and a norm in our society. “V” the whole Muslim society collectively have failed to understand curse of Interest based economy .



When I mention sins or ill practices by people keeping a beard or women following Hijab than it does not mean that I do not consider others as Muslims but I mention it to indicate confused acts . “V” are ready to talk about a possible bloody Islamic revolution (Iran’s Khumani style) but we are not ready to filter our entertainment, change the way we treat our women or increase our income without actually working for it.


1: Can we have a new censor policy, banking system without a forced radical change?

2: Do we actually want to change this society and ourselves?

3: Did Taliban succeed and are still successful because major part of the society wanted to change but did not want to step out of its comfort zone so when a group enforced Islamic practices than the bodies followed which the minds knew was right?

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Begging from the Beggars

I was still in my teens when a family elder suggested that I should visit the most famous Shrine/mausoleum of Lahore every week. The idea was to keep me in the loop of spirituality which saves a person from going astray.

I started visiting the place every Friday for praying. After couple of months I realized that every time during prayers at my visit ,I do not mention the one whose shrine I am standing at and I only give reference of Holy prophet(P.B.U.H) so during pray I decided that soon after giving Holy prophet’s reference ,I would give reference of the shrined. At the end of the prayer when I actually tried to do it than I realized that I have made an error of sequencing the references as after referring to the ultimate reference I can not give reference of the shrined so next week when I would come than I would give reference of Holy prophet(P.B.U.H) at the end but next week I realized that I was unable to quote a reference even before Holy prophet’s reference so I finished the prayers through only one reference which was of Holy prophet (P.B.U.H).

In the same time period I used to be almost a pathological liar so when I prayed to God for helping me quit than by mistake I gave reference of Abu baker Siddique (who was known for being truthful and whose generation I belong to) .Soon after referring to him I felt guilty for not referring to Sadiq and Amin (Holy Prophet’s tittles for being truthful and trust worthy).I asked for God’s forgiveness and from that point and age onwards I always refer to Holy prophet(P.BU.H)which is the ultimate reference, during my prayers. I also stopped visiting shrines and Mausoleums.

Different people have different opinions about use of references during prayers.

Being an ordinary person who has not conducted any research

1: Do you feel urge to use “any” references during prayers?

2: Do you agree with the idea that God would be more attentive to our prayers if we beg him in the name of people who were very pious and are not alive anymore.

3: Is use of references in prayers a reflection of our national trait i.e. using references to get the things done which we feel we can not do on our own and similarly we don’t believe that we are good enough to convince God to listen to our prayers so we refer to the people who are supposed to be better humans than us.



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