Recently I met someone who had accompanied me during Hajj. I was traveling with my mother and he with his wife. We were sharing the room at Haram Madina so I witnessed the passionate affection which he had for his wife. There was nothing surprising about it as two people who are growing together for about thirty years must have shared a lot. Must have shared lot of moments of joy and sorrows. They must have planned together about their children and raised them etc etc so I was surprised to know about their Divorce when I again met him after about two years. Their marriage lasted for about thirty years.
I think that it’s the seventh or eight incident in which I have come to know about mature age divorce. Getting separated at a late age is difficult to understand as after living for so many years together life partners are supposed to have
Better communication
Better understanding
Empathy
A bit of trust
Everything else which time brings to get the strangers closer!
But how does this happen? Where do all of the above mentioned things go when two people decide to separate their ways.
Following are the few possible explanations
1: One of the partners starts following his self discovery and that is when he realizes that the other person doesn’t understand him. The one following the self discovery becomes reactive towards other person’s ignorance of hi emotions without realizing that he himself took so many years to discover what was always in him.
2: One of the partners starts missing the appeal which the other partner had at a younger age but which can be found in someone else now.
3: There is age difference between the two which gets prominent at the later age and that is when younger partner looses interest in continuing with the relationship.
4: God didn’t bless the couple with any children (especially son) so the husband decides for another marriage at an age when he foresees financial and physical dependence coming.
Practically any of the above mentioned factors can be a reason but the painful part is that usually in our society women are financially dependent upon men so in case of a divorce there are serious question marks on a women’s survival especially when judicial system practically can not force the husband to pay maintenance allowance. In such cases usually Fathers are either not alive or are too old to support and the brothers are more concerned about raising their children.
What is the solution?
Please discuss by adding comments to the post and do mention your name at the end .In order to expand this discussion platform (A new post almost every week) please extend this URL http://inamarif.blogspot.com to your mailing and text lists.
